7 Insights to Boost Performance with Differentiated Coaching

How would you describe your coaching style? Whether you’re a Principal supporting your teachers or a manager inside an organization giving feedback to your direct reports, the way you approach these conversations can make all the difference in effectively engaging staff, inspiring change and realizing results. 

I know from firsthand experience. When I was a new Principal, I had the opportunity to meet with many different teams. There was one in particular that I was so excited about. The department was full of high achievers with significant influence in the school.   

I could not wait to work with them and share ideas about how we could collaborate to see even better results. When I showed up, I came with all of my enthusiasm. I started with an icebreaker, hyped up their accomplishments and cheered them on.  

Unfortunately, my excitement for team-bonding was not well received. When I started to share ideas for improvement, I could feel the side-eye glances and guarded reactions. In their looks to one another, I sensed them asking: “What planet did this Principal come from?”  

As we were ending the meeting, it was clear to me that I had not gained the group’s confidence, and I would need to find a way to get us back on track.   

This experience is not uncommon. Only 52% of teachers report that they are very satisfied with their relationships with school administrators. While this figure is higher regarding the overall relationship between direct reports and their managers in the corporate world, they are still looking for more from their supervisors. In fact, only 49% of employees are satisfied by the amount of feedback they receive on how they’re doing their job. 

Building an environment where personnel in any field feel effectively supported requires trust, creating a safe space for two-way conversation and understanding what drives and motivates individuals. The secret to creating this climate is a differentiated approach to coaching and mentorship. 

Adjust to Your People’s Needs 

To make this shift, I follow a framework that I call: Me, We, Us. 

• Me – Describes how coaching starts with self-awareness  
• We – Focuses on building trust and rapport with whoever we’re mentoring  
• Us – Looks at creating a system-wide culture of growth and support  

This approach can be activated by considering the following question:   

How do I (ME) need to think differently and “translate” information to help teams (WE) perform to the best of their ability so the whole organization (US) thrives?   

To bring this strategy to life, I invite you to adapt your style based on the different ways your staff prefer to think and behave. 

Listen Actively while Communicating Regularly

Show that you are committed to understanding colleagues before being understood by them. Start by reducing distractions in meetings, leaving room for deep thought and asking open-ended questions to learn more about alternate perspectives.  

Assess the Right Type of Coaching

In some instances, you might need to tell staff what changes must be implemented. In others, you may be able to collaborate on the next steps together. Assess the situation and determine what style is the most appropriate fit. No matter which route you take, be sure to communicate directly and kindly.  

Provide Recovery Time

Extend ample time to let the information sink in when change is being asked. Encourage your staff to reach out to you with any follow-up questions or clarifications that may come up after processing the message.  

Explain the Why

Address the reasoning behind your coaching, including the rationale and research backing the change and the value behind doing things differently. Be mindful to emphasize efficiency, expertise and credibility. 

Describe the How

Discuss the steps individuals can take to improve and iterate. Show them “how” they can adjust by including specific action steps over defined timelines as well as examples, rubrics and models that they can apply.   

Connect with the Who

Empathize with the people involved and impacted by emphasizing the effect they have on others, the belief the organization and its leaders have in that individual and your compassion for the challenges of the job. 

Embrace the What If

Reiterate the big picture and vision for the team. Promote autonomy, experimentation and opportunities for the unexpected. Also, be sure to add in elements of fun and whimsy. It’s not just kids who want to laugh and enjoy themselves! 

ME, WE, US in Action 

I invite you to take a moment to pause and consider which of the approaches above resonates most with you. Acknowledging where you tend to go most frequently is a great opportunity for self-awareness and recognizing the “Me” in our framework. It will also help you identify blind spots, so you can better connect to the “We.”  

Reflecting on my experience as a Principal, I took time to assess my preferred approach (Me) and how the team was reacting and receiving the information (We). I realized that I was interacting in the way that I liked to be led and supported, not the way the group preferred. 

This department needed me to show up with more composure by reinforcing the expertise and knowledge I could offer as well as respecting the expertise and knowledge the team already had. I used the seven strategies I shared above to build credibility and match rapport with my staff members.  

Still, I didn’t completely abandon my joy and liveliness, which are part of who I am. I balanced those tendencies with the strategies that most directly spoke to my direct reports. In creating that equilibrium, it allowed me to gain the team’s trust and ultimately, work together on solutions that empowered our entire school community (Us) to improve collective performance.  

Adapting your coaching approach will not only strengthen your connections with your staff. It will also ensure that you speak to the motivators of your people. When employees feel understood and receive information in a way that aligns with their thinking and behavioral preferences, they will be more likely to embrace the change you are seeking and realize better outcomes. 

Want more tips to effectively lead and coach others?  

Principals and District Leaders: Watch Marie’s presentation at Education Week’s Leadership Symposium.  

Managers and Executives: Download our latest eBook. 

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